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When understanding…was simple

I grew up in a time when understanding…was simple.

Prime example is the first twelve years of my formal education. I knew in advance that the purpose for attending school was to receive an education in order to improve my chances of becoming successful.  The word “successful” is a subjective word meaning different things to different people…which we will discuss another day.

Ok….let me backup a little…in the first few years of my education I couldn’t even conceive the words that I just used above…must less spell them. The first few years were spent learning (without my awareness) to interact with other kids, structure, sharing, respect for authority, discipline…and heartache.  Yes…heartache, there was a little girl in the third grade that was cute that had absolutely no interest in becoming my girl friend.

Beyond those first few years I gained the “simple understanding” of several things. If I didn’t listen and study…not only would I not learn…but there would be consequences. I would not be promoted to the next grade level with my friends if I didn’t meet the minimum academic requirements… that my family who cared about me would be disappointed… that it was my fault that I didn’t pass because I didn’t apply myself because of my priorities.  I had a great deal of respect for my teachers and their attitude toward us as developing individuals. That respect never wavered…even when I was sent to the Principal’s office to have my ass whipped…that’s right …have my ass whipped.  I didn’t need a thirty minute lecture or therapy session with the Principal, I knew what I had done was wrong and I new the consequences beforehand…it was my choice.  I also knew when I got home that my Pop would not be going to the school the next day to try and have the Principal fired…but that he would just whip my ass to reconfirm the Principal’s action.  I began to make better choices after a couple of those sessions.

This was also an age that you learned in life that everything was not necessarily equal.   I am hesitant to use the word “fair” because to me that meant you “cheated or didn’t play by the rules”. Today I feel that word is used more too express “resentment or entitlement”. It was a time…if you didn’t win your ball game…it’s was because the other team was better that day. It was fair…it just wasn’t equal on that given day. You also realized that your physical skill level may not be equal to some of your team mates, but you didn’t resent their talent…you used it as an incentive to play your best.

The first twelve years of my formal education was for the purpose to help me reach a level of knowledge and understanding that should benefit me in making choices in the “real world”.  There would no longer be a bell ringing every 50 minutes to direct me to the next event of my life… it was my time to make my own choices in life…the understanding was simple.

Johnny J

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The Journey of Life

I often listen to music, see films and read articles that were created by individuals who are no longer with us…which makes me more aware that life on this earth has an up-coming ending.  No great revelation…just makes me more conscious of the aging process.

I look at a 12-inch ruler and view it as the measuring device for the amount of time one spends on this earth…and I am now on the short end of that stick.  I am very lucky that I am not ill, depressed or suffering from an economic hardship and that I have a loving wife and son.

I am still very active in my chosen profession and believe that I am good at helping my Client’s and friends with knowledge that benefits them…but at times I feel that I could do more to help others…unrelated to business.

There are a multitude of charities that reach out to help people with a monetary or physical need and it good that those individuals and organization are there.  It may sound selfish…but that isn’t my passion. I would prefer to inspire an individual to understand the importance of assuming responsible of one’s self.  It would be counter-productive for me to be part of an organization or a committee of group thinkers because of my perspective.

Our educators today have a very challenging role due to “group thinkers” who create a curriculum that is based on test scores results…money, political correctness and passing one on to the next level.  In my opinion when the “board” (applied to back side) of education and the teachers authority was diminished …so was the lesson that one’s actions and lack of respect for authority… has consequences.   The real education starts with life in the world of self-preservation…which most are not prepared for.  You won’t hear a bell ring or someone standing before you daily to lecture…but the knowledge and experience of every day is before you…learn from it. Life is not fair or equal…get over it!  You may receive a helping hand along the way…but there are less speed bumps to deal with when an individual accepts the responsibility for one’s own actions.

Society in general tend to look at titles and one’s materialistic accumulations as “Success”.  Don’t get confused or defined by someone else’s definition…unless it mirrors your passion and the direction that you want to take.  “Success is not the Key to Happiness…Happiness is the Key to Success. If you love what you are doing…you are successful”.  My definition is based on personal satisfaction, independence and the security that provides that freedom.

There is an old expression “Good Things Come to Those Who Wait” …not true…Make it Happen! Discover your passion and talent and start the journey to self-fulfillment, whatever it may be.

Remember that “Life is the Journey”, not the destination…which has already been determined.

Johnny J.

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In the Scheme of Things …

Small talk with little substance…”bears no fruit” with casual acquaintances, groups or strangers.

There was a study that someone conducted in regard to the attention span of the average listener.  It concluded after 25 seconds if the listeners had no interest in what you were saying… they tuned you out and were no longer listening.  (I am sure that I have made a lot of 25 second speeches without knowing it).  We sometimes initiate questions that promote longer answers (unintentionally) than we are prepared to listen to. For example: “How was your golf game today”? “Well on the first hole I knocked one out of bounds and three putted…then on the second hole”….and so on….get the point. The question that deserves a 25 second or less response… “What score did you shoot today”?

We all ask questions or make statements that are not meant to initiate a conversation…but as a means of politeness or awareness of one’s presence. Such as “How are you today?”… “Have a good day”… “Good golf shot”…etc…all of these can be responded to in no more than one or two words….and should be.

If you are trying to start a conversation that has value beyond 25 seconds…then ask a question to someone who has a source of knowledge to the question you are asking….and then be prepared to listen to the answer. Conversation should be an exchange of ideas or at least a learning experience.  Remember when you are talking “you are only learning what you already know”…and if your dialog extends beyond 25 seconds it should have interest to the other party.

There are some basic rules that we should all engage in such as:

…never ask a question that you know will embarrass or make the other person feel inadequate.

…questions concerning religion and politics are not good topics…if you know the other person’s views are different from your.

…having an opinion and elaborating on something that you know nothing about is more dangerous than not having an opinion at all. This one is a confirmation to the statement “I thought he was smart until he open his mouth and removed all doubt”.

…people usually would prefer talking about themselves or their own experiences with you listening …rather than listening to you talk about yourself.

Now I have just stated what I believe to be the proper protocol for starting an intelligent conversation with a casual acquaintance, group, or a stranger in the proper setting.

With that said… if you should run into an “old friend” that you haven’t seen in some time… in an informal setting such as on the golf course or like…none of the above applies…the proper greeting would be to extend you hand for a hand shake, smile and verbalize… “Damn you are as ugly as I remember”…It’s a guy thing…we wear it like a badge of honor….and it took less than 25 seconds.  Disclaimer: I would not necessarily recommend this greeting to the more intelligent gender…women.

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance

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Success vs. Success

The general acceptance of success is defined as…

“the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status”.

The most interesting question is the simplest of all “What does success mean to you?”

Success is not the same for all people…the most common perception is…the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.  The other side of the coin could be described as self-confident, contentment, awareness, fulfillment…knowing “who you are” is more important than “how other people perceive you”.  We are all wired differently and it’s not that either of these two or correct or incorrect…and if a person possesses a combination of these…so be it. I believe that personal success is only obtainable when you “reach” an understanding within yourself.

Here lies the purpose for this thought:

We are taught at an early age to strive and plan for success…and specific people were pointed out as examples that had reached that plateau…only to find out later in life that some of those examples were the most insecure, unhappy and self-destructive individuals that you could  possibly imagine.  Perception does not always reflect reality…contrary to the over used phrase of “perception is reality”.

Surface observations do not always reveal the truth.  It reminds me of the old line “are you going to believe me or you’re lying eyes?”  If you judge an individual only by fame or fortune rather than by ones’ self contentment …then you may be judging a false sense of success.  I have seen individuals that have achieved monetary wealth and fame…and yet still strive for other people’s approval and acceptance because of their own insecurity.  Success is not a group-awareness but self-awareness. In my opinion the more important question.. as it pertains to “success” is simple… “Have you achieved self-confidence and happiness within yourself”?

It is never too late in life to achieve success…sometimes the achievement is the “discovery” not the intended journey.

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

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“Fork in the Road”… “People, Places and Events”

Age constitute a series of chapters filed with people, places and events in one’s life with the passing of time.

As one gets older there is a tendency to bring into focus the “memories” of those events. For a moment separate the memories of those events from a specific decision that you made (or someone made for you) that led you to where you are today….that decision probably created the majority of those memories good or bad.

With that said…I thought that I would back track and try to identify the major “fork in the road” that has led me to the present.

I now live in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metro-Plex area of Texas…and have for the majority of my life (at my age it is safe to say the majority).  After college I was given a job opportunity that provided me a choice to move to one of several different cities in Texas…San Antonio, Houston and Ft. Worth.  I chose Ft. Worth because I had a brother that lived there at the time. Even though my brother and I had no direct conversation that influenced me to move to the area…the fact is “just because he lived there”…I made a quick decision at that time that has since fill the majority of my life…(he moved out of State less than a year of me moving here).

I could have just as easily chosen Austin, San Antonio, or Houston….but I didn’t. That one decision led me to all the people and events that have filled my life since.  Any other decision that I would have made at that time would have led me to a life filled with different people and events. To me its mind boggling to think for example…if I had moved to Austin at that time in my life…Where would I be today?  That one choice…that one turn in the road…has filled the majority of my life and has influenced who I am today.

Take a moment and reflect on a decision that you made…or didn’t make…that brought you to where you are today.  I not talking about the events that may have influenced the changes in your life…but the one major decision that you made that led you to the surroundings of where you are today.

Someone once said, life is what happens as you are making plans…our every day life becomes a bumper car ride with people and events being the rails that keep us on that continuing path.

If you under 30 years of age…there is a possibility that you haven’t encountered that major “fork in the road”…only detours…and only time will tell.

If you have reached an age where there is more time behind you than in front of you…then I  challenge you to isolate the ‘fork in the road” …and then wonder…what if? 

 DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance

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“Choices”

I wrote this several years ago as a defining factor of my life and my beliefs. I look at it every now and then to see if my thoughts have changed.

CHOICES

 Life is a journey navigated by choices…for every conscious moment of the day we make decisions…some that may seem to be without thought.

We are the products of those thoughts and decisions…they are the directional signs of our existence.

These decisions are fueled by attitude and emotions of the moment…they may reflect the appearance of hatred or anger…or a heart filled with love and compassion…but without emotion there is no core.

We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world…but our substance of what we are must come from the deep inner feelings and convictions of who we are.

We must always continue to hunger for knowledge…but have awareness that the two most powerful tools of good and evil are “words” and ‘actions”.

From the words of William Earnest Henley…”I am the captain of my faith, I am the Master of my soul”.

My beliefs are my choices…I make no excuses…I am only me.

Johnny J. 

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

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“Attitude” good or bad?

Attitude …is defined as an opinion or general feeling about something…a physical posture, either conscious or unconscious, especially while interacting with others…an arrogant or assertive manner or stance assumed as a challenge or for effect.

Attitude is usually perceived as “good” or “bad”…if one appears positive, happy, cheerful, friendly, etc…(You get the point) then he/she is probably perceived as one with a “good attitude”.  If one is assertive, loud, unafraid, determined, then one would probably be perceived as one with a “bad attitude”. Ones’ perception does not always reflect reality.  Whether you agree or disagree with the content of the message or messenger …it will usually influence your perception. Don’t be afraid to have  what could be perceived as “bad attitude”…without it… complacency, fear and political correctness can stand in the way of progress and change which can result in stagnation and eventually erosion…nothing remains the same. The next time you judge someone’s attitude (and we all do) ask yourself “Am I looking at a “hothead”…or a “passionate” person with convictions?  Good or bad? Assertions of the “right attitude” will have a purpose and a goal to reach a destination.

Attitude and Diplomacy do not always go hand and hand.  Diplomacy can be a long drawn out process with pandering and postponement. My attitude is much like the “old gentlemen” when asked by the store clerk if he wanted the extended warranty with his purchase…he said, “Son, I don’t need the extended warranty…at my age I don’t even buy “green” bananas anymore”.  Time is of the essence….cut to the chase…say what you mean and mean what you say… and say it with passion.

“Good” or “Bad” is not the question … the question is; is it the right “attitude”?

Footnote:  My wife forward an email one day that I thought was appropriate to this article…it read  “Don’t get confused between my personality and my attitude.  My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are“.

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.

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Are They Crazy?

“Decision making isn’t a matter of arriving at a right or wrong answer; it’s a matter of selecting the most effective course of action from among less effective courses of action”.  ……..by Phillip Marvin, Developing Decisions for Action, 1971, chapter 6

Decisions by committees…good concept…democracy, majority rules, sharing of ideals, etc…

Here is the flaw that lies…”not in the concept”…but many times in the end result of those decisions.

How many times have you heard or read a decision that was made by a group of individuals (a committee)…and you asked “How in the Hell could anyone think and agree that’s a good idea?”

For the sake of simplicity…let’s look at all committees as a “jury” of 12 individuals that make decisions that can affect our lives.  To name just a few …school boards, city councils, committees within committees of government agencies, board of governors, advisory boards, church boards, etc…You get the point?

After reviewing all the facts and options…one’s intellect and common-sense should led to a rational and justifiable decision (don’t confuse intellect with education)… but here lies the answer to the question “How in the Hell could anyone think and agree that’s a good idea?”… because not all committees consist of objective and intellectual individuals.  As the fictitious character Forrest Gump said “stupid is as stupid does”.

Examples:

  • Twelve left wing liberals or 12 right wing conservatives in two different committees viewing the same set of facts…will arrive at a different solution to the problem at hand. Common-sense and objectivity will not exist in either of these environments.
  • A committee of 12 individuals with 2 strong personality that agree…and 10 passive individuals that don’t have a clue are easily intimated and will probably vote in line with two other members…and if those two are “idiots” that would answer you question.
  • A committee of “dueling personalities”…where you have the majority voting with and for the dominate “personality that they liked best”…the subject matter was lost in the duel itself.
  • The committee of “self importance”…the individuals that are so enamored about being on “the committee”… but don’t have a clue and could care less about indulging into researching the subject matter at hand….but will always go along with the majority and are happy as long as their name is pronounced or printed correctly.

NOW…let’s thank the individuals that dedicate their time for the right reasons.  Not for recognition or monetary reasons…but because they may have the experience, expertise, or passion for the subject matter that lends value to that committee.  In the public sector these people truly are public servants that make decisions for the benefit of others.

The reason we may not think or hear about them as often is because they don’t readily factor into… “How in the Hell could anyone think and agree that’s a good idea?”

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Good Decisions vs. Bad Decisions

I am a firm believer that the more facts you have…the more prone you are to make intelligent decisions.  We sometimes tend to fool ourselves about our preexisting knowledge of everything. You may be very knowledgeable about a particular subject matter which will create a high level of  confidence in yourself…but when you allow that high level of confidence to gravitate to something that you know very little about…the old adage takes over “I little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing”.

We are all “ignorant” of various subject matters…but we become “stupid” when we don’t realize or acknowledge that fact.  The best advice you can give (if asked) when it is outside your rim of expertise is simple… “I don’t know…but if you would like…I can help you find someone who is knowledgeable in that area.”

I have been in sales all of my adult life…and to me…sales is a simple matter of identifying the need or pain and arriving at a solution that benefits the recipient.  Sometimes it takes more than your knowledge to achieve that objective. Get over it…you are not an authority on everything.

I have always found it interesting when talking with someone about a particular subject matter (that I do have some expertise in) that they don’t have a clue what they’re talking about…but they do it with such confidence, conviction and authority.   This supports the old adage “when someone thinks you are stupid…remove all doubt by opening your mouth”.

It is not always the right thing to take advice or use someone’s service from someone that you like and respect.  The example that I often use is: “I have a friend that is a doctor who I like and respect his knowledge and ability…but I would never consider using him if I needed a life threatening operation”…because he is a dentist.

Knowledge is the most powerful thing when properly applied to your decision making process.

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Brain to Mouth Filter Disorder (BMFD)

What do a pre-school child (4 to 5 years of age) and a super senior have in common?

There is a good possibility…it’s a Brain to Mouth “Filter” Disorder (BMFD).  In one… it has yet to be installed and… in the other… it could be worn out.

When you were four years old you probably had a tendency to repeat things that you had heard that may not have been appropriate…or innocently expressed how you felt without any consideration of others.  If you are in your super senior years…you may have a tendency to verbalize what others would consider inappropriate…but you don’t care… “you say what you mean…and mean what you say”.

Somewhere in between these ages most people develop a “filter” within themselves… that prompts them to ask “Is this an appropriate thing to say”?  Now of course…we allknow some people that have traveled through life without any “filter” at all…which could be more disturbing that we care to explore.

As one ages the “filter” that processes the intake of information prior to responding becomes less effective and results in quicker, honest, and sometimes hostile and more direct responses.

Example: (Joe at the age of 40 having a conversation with his 40 year old friend Fred).

JOE:  “Fred what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

FRED:  “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE:  “That’s very insightful…I have never viewed it from that prospective”.

Joe 40 years later asking the same question… to a “forty” year old friend Tom.

JOE:  “Tom what do you think of the political structure in today’s society”?

TOM:  “I believe that we have a good check and balance system…etc…”

JOE:  “You stupid SOB…I can’t believe that anyone could be so damn stupid to think that way”!

…I believe that you get the point.

The real question is: Has Joe gained more knowledge to change his point of view or has aging just brought on a more aggressive behavior?  We could continue with more questions…but the complexity of the answer is never simple and would need to be analyzed on an individual bases.

I recall a certain individual that I meet in college…and after several conversations…I thought that he was the stupidest individual that I had ever met (please do not confuse intelligence with education).  By circumstances I had the opportunity to meet him again 40 years later in a business environment…and in spite of his education and life experiences…in my opinion he is still the stupidest individual that I have ever met.  Aging does not always bring wisdom with it…sometimes it’s just a process of getting older.

Have you checked your “filter” lately? Check it for tolerance and understanding…but never let it filter out truth and honesty.

Johnny J. 

DISCLAIMER: The information presented is either my opinion or information obtained from sources believed to be reliable and factual; however, I make no representation as to the completeness or accuracy thereof. Any errors, including misuse or misspelling of words is either due to my fingers hitting the wrong keys, oversight, or my own ignorance.